Now and then

"You'll be fine." 

He told me as I walk my way to the hall. Everything doesn't seem right to me. This can't be it. It's to easy. This is wrong. My assignment, it doesn't seem right. Beside me Love keep on reassuring me that everything is going to be alright but my intuition keeps telling me that he's wrong. 

"Bye baby. You'll be fine." 

He told me as he hugged me then walk back leaving me behind to go to the class. I steeled up every fragile part of me and strolled my wall to the hall. People always told us that when you are about to die, your life will flash before you but as for me, it's different. Obviously I'm alive coz I'm writing here. Memories of my decision to follow Papa and the things I have to let go flashed to my mind. 

Countless of blessings that I have receive from Him. Papa have been generous to me. I always complaint for not having enough like not have much money to spend on clothing like my friends, not much money to drink tea and cheese cake by the swan river every weekend, no time to go out and hang out or no time to enjoy my life. Well, Papa proved me wrong. He showed me all His blessings that He have showered upon me. Freedom from my past, healing from my past hurt and pain, cure for my addiction even until now, Love and a family I can call my own here in Perth. His blessings worth much more than any of my offering. 

That realization really knocked my head or should I say kicked my brain. So I decided to pray and seek Him as I walked to the hall. By the way, the hall is quite far so yeah. That's why I have time to pray and walk at the same time.

"Papa, I thank you for the many blessings that You have given me. I thank you for all of it. Papa, I'm sorry for my wrong doings. It is me who brought myself into this situation. I'm the one who don't manage my time well. I myself that skip class and not studying when I'm suppose to. I myself that wasted my own money. Forgive me Papa. Teach me Your way Papa. Set me straight back to You. Papa, it is Your will to be done not mine. Papa, even if I have low marks on this assignment I still choose to follow You. Even if I fail my unit, my uni or jeopardize my career in the future, I still choose to serve You. I choose to follow You no matter what it is. I choose to follow You for You have chosen me first. I choose to know You and to love You for You have love me first. I love You Papa regardless what it is. Amen."

Guess what, I was given a second chance by lecturer to do my assignment again and present it the next day. Papa open my heart to see things more clearly. Papa, thanks. =)