First of all, this is where I release all my frustrations, anger or whatever you call it.. Inner turmoil or something. Well, other than God and my boyfriend of course. First of all, I feel so fucked up. I wish I'm not going to swear but I've been swearing for these entire one month of uni life. Everything just plain bullshit. First week was shit. Bombarded by projects and assignments. Second week, I choose to escape from it by living in my own world. Didn't do my assignment when I can do it that time. Then I fell sick. Great. When I want to bounce back to get on track, I'm sick. Two weeks just wasted like that. I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm disappointed, I'm just feeling everything. After that, I trace back my steps to the right track. I seriously need God. I need Him to set things right for me. I need Him to guide me, to lead me and to comfort me. I need Him to go through all of these. I yearn for Him. Most of the time I cry in the bathroom..(so I can shower straight after I cry).
Well, Papa have been there for me. He save my ass twice this week. My assignment, was suppose to due last Friday but Papa understand my struggles. It postpone to this Friday. Which is today. Yesterday, I was crying my heart out to Love. Been crying to Papa ever since. Well, the assignment finally due next Monday. Things just get so confusing again after that. Anyways, I just don't care anymore. It's my fault that all of these happen. I know.. What should happen did.. I keep telling myself that Papa is bigger than any of my problems.. Papa will provide.. Papa is here with me to go through this.. In the end, here I am bitching it all out. Until halfway, I ask Love to hug me and I cried in his arms.
Love, I know you definitely my ultimate stalker here which I never knew last time. Since I know now, I write to you la. Anyway, my point is, that I really appreciate your presence. I appreciate the time you spend with me hearing me crying my heart out. I appreciate your touch especially your hugs and even when you wipe my tears or holding hands. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I appreciate all the help that you have help me with. I appreciate all your sacrifices like your patience dealing with a person like me that have so much issues. I really really appreciate you as a person. Thanks for everything. Literally everything. I love you Love.
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