Father whispered to me, " Beloved, I love you just the way you are. I've forgiven you. Nothing you can do to make Me love you more nor love you less. I love you. You are forgiven. My child, I'm here beside you. I'm not far from you. I wrap My arms around you each night when you're asleep. I shed My tears to share your sorrows. I comfort you each time you cry. I gave you My peace to still your anxious heart. My grace is sufficient in time of your weakness. Remember me beloved. Remember me."
I know the journey ahead of me will be hard, but I choose to stand and walk through that fire. The world may hate me, the world may abandon me and the world may despise me but I will remain in my Father's way. Each day I cried. Longing for the presence of my Father. I feel so alone. This battle I'm fighting tires me but for Him I'm willing even to die in that fight. Jesus shed His blood for me why not I shed mine for others?
Future seems bleak to me ever since the Fall and all I knew is to cling to His promise of Paradise where there will be no more sorrow and no more pain. That night I prayed.
" Father, as much as I am willing to obey You, I'm scared. I'm worried of my future. Will I have a friend who will accept me inside out? Regardless of what it is, it's all about You Abba. Not me. Even if it means to break my heart again. I'm willing to obey. In Your most precious name Lord Jesus I pray. Amen."
I knew from the corner my heart, the devil is lurking at me. Furious. That's when it all began. A war between good and evil that I'm struggling with until now. Blow after blow I recieve and it is by God's grace I'm still in my right mind. Unforgiveness, insults, rejection, labels, hathred, revenge, anger, envy, lust, arrogance, power, wealth and immorality. I choose to stand among all of the fallen. Though lay low, I choose to serve God and not to dwell with the world. Not anymore.
