Frustrations

Here's the thing, 3 days ago I was so frustrated and stress about my uni life. Here I am today stressing out about my lack of time to breathe from all of these whirlwind. Being a Christian isn't easy. I get that part. I mean who doesn't? I truly get it coz I've died before and here I am alive and been given a second chance. Not that I really died. You know what I mean. 


I'm tired. That's my point. Spiritual, physical, mentally, soulfully.. whichever that fits the bill. I'm just plain tired. I'm juggling with my assignments, assessments and practicals. On top of that, I'm a cell helper who's in charge about food. Two lovely girls are under my care and another two are my mortals ( not that I'm immortal it's just I'm like their angel that watches over them. That's what we do in our cell this year.) 


Other than that, I recently bough a car (my awesome red shiny car. Old but I'm lovin it =)). And I have a boyfriend. It's not that I'm saying having Love to be with me is bad. It just add up to my list I have more responsibilities. Anyway, I really thank God for Love. He's been there for me to go through all these craziness with me. 


This week is another stressful week for me. I just bounce back from my previous breakdown and now I'm dealing with another one. What a cyclone of life. Uni life. Student life. What a hell of a ride. So yeah, I'm feeling all fucked up again. So much of feeling better after I blog 4 days ago. I told Love that I need to talk to my girlfriend. I wont tell you. Not that it's a secret anyway. So we talked. It was a relief coz she knows and she understands what I'm going through. Basically both of us are tired anyway. 


Once we were done, I went for a hot shower. I wanted to cry in the bathroom like I use to do but my tears are just not there. So as I was in my room, tending my hair (lol) on the bed talking to God. Complaining to be exact. And crying of course. I stood up talking to God like a mad man talking to the air until I literally fell on the floor on my knees with my face on the ground. (Thank God my room are carpeted.) I cried. I cried my heart out to God. I cried until I don't feel like crying anymore. That's was the time when I finally dress myself up and called Love to pick me up.