First master piece

"When you're fifteen, somebody tell you they love you you're gonna believe them. And when you're fifteen And you're first kiss makes your head spin around but in your life you do things greater than dating a boy on football team. I didn't know it at fifteen. When all you wanted is to be wanted. Wish you could go back And tell yourself what you know now. Back then I swore I'm gonna marry him one day then I realized some bigger dreams of mine. Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mine. We both cried. And when you're fifteen somebody tells you they you're gonna believe them. And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall. I found time can heal most anything and you just might found who you're suppose to be. I didn't know who I was suppose to be.. Fifteen.."


Gripping on the steering wheel, I cried my heart out to that song. That very same pain I have to go through like that poor girl in Taylor swift's song. The only difference, I was 18. I curse my life under my breath for my stupidity. Blaming myself day and night for giving away my life and my soul for a boy who vowed to be with me and the end of the day lied to me and leave me to die with nothing only but pain and shame. As I wipe the tear of my cheeks, I hit on the gas wishing I could just overturn the car and die. Conscience sipping its way through my mind. I need to pick my mom from school not to add up the misery and pain that's already there at home. My family will definitely fall apart if I die. My mom and my dad will definitely going to divorce because I'm not there to hold my parents together. My siblings can't move on because they need me to go through this hard time. I swallow every bit of pain and shame to the pit of my stomach. That very bit that I swallowed turn to stone.




Ignorance is my new best friend. Nothing satisfied me. Nothing cheered me. I grab my twilight: new moon book and continue reading it. Here I go again with her pain. Bella's pain. My pain. Sins of my past hung upon my neck. Dragging me down with my lowly life. Where is God? I see no God. I hear not His voice. I remember not Jesus. All I see is the pit of hell where I'm going to be for the rest of eternity. I'm destined to die in hell with the rest of scumbags and trash of the world. Enrage about my future and the lost of my soul, I was no longer an angel but a devil in disguise. Bloodlust that's all I know. I see no life. I see no future. I decided to hunt all of them down. One by one those who ruin my life. First stop, him. That very one man that took it all. When that moment arrive when I can feel their lives slipping away from my hands, I will devour their meat once they are dead. Why bother about God when you are already destined to rot hell. I'm already dead anyway. Why do I care. The Devil rejoice of what have become of me. Now he owns me. 


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