ReaLiTy

Pretending things in the past was never there is not easy because the wound and scars are there to remind us it's real. It was by God's grace I am now able to step up and walk among the living. I never understands the love that Abba has for me, even till now I still couldn't grasp how deep His love for me. But I knew one thing for sure, if it wasn't because of Him I wouldn't be here. It's easy to follow the flow of the wrong path you've chosen life and never turn back. To regain in that right path is a life long challenge for me and have to bear with the consequence of the bad choices I've made in life adding up the challenge that's already there. Future seems bleak yet to His promises I cling my whole life to. I don't know what His plans for me but I'm willing to accept it even if I don't have a clue what it is. What the world despise You lifted up. What the world consider disgrace You made it worthwhile. I cling to that promise of Yours. "Though fallen low, You raised her up. An angel."

my first dance involvement

It all started with.., well basically dance fascinates me since primary school. Unfortunately I don't have my swagger so dance is just one of my wish list. What makes me to go for it is all bcoz of the freshies welcome in church where they perform hip hop. I was blown away by it. And at that very moment I knew that's my calling. So I've waited for the next performance to join in which was on Easter.

Was having a good time busting my fat ass out and I've really missed being on the stage. It's like my own personal getaway from the harshness of the world. It's my own sweet escape of reality. Back in high school, I've joined drama (didn't cut it through for representing the school anyway) and loved all those time spend on the stage. It pleases me when the crowds cheered not jeering at me or talked behind my back like they used to. That moment on stage always a do or die moment for me. I've wanted to prove all of them I'm not a mere average, fugly, outcast fat girl. I've wanted to prove them as lowly as I am God will raise me up to prove I am too worthy to be appreciated and loved. Life would feel so empty once all of it was over. Oh well, high school. What can I say. Immature. Anyway, me and my cell were enjoying ouselves alright.



First picture from left to right: Serene, me, Jason, Lulu, Sara and Evan. At the back, Alvin, Grace and Serena. The picture looks so cool. It's like a family potrait. In fact, they are my family here. I love each and everyone of them and I feel so blessed in knowing each and everyone of them. Haha. I feel like an idiot talking to myself. Poor me. Haha. I know You are seeing this Lord. =) I dont that alone anyway for You have promise that You will never leave and never forsaken me. Here I am Lord, typing and typing in hoping that I won't forget each person You've send to help me and to be my friends. All of this shall be a reminder on how much You love me despite of my fall, my failure and my shame. Lord, I thanked You for loving me like no other.

continuing my story. haha

Hey again. Can't study so might as well I continue with my blog. Haha. This is my first girlfriends and thanks to my orientation that I've found them. Enjoying ourselves eating fish and chips at Fremantle and wine testing at Margaret River. Since I don't drink or I think I don't, I've tried all the wine and so far it makes me hate red wine. Or at least I think i hate it. Man, I'm so confusing. Anyway, I'm having a good time alright.

So here is my cell (partially). 4 Iban girls (3 of them are half iban and I'm the only pure Iban so far) plus our Angelina Jolie aka Justin with his Angie's lips and self proclaim iban bcoz of the love of drinking culture (yup, that part he's an iban alright).



Enjoying our steamboat night at Lulu's house. It was a blast. Cracking out lame jokes and eating till our stomach can't contain it. Ever since I've join the cell, I'm always looking forward for it each Friday night and never missed it unless I'm on a fieldtrip. They are like my family here. Lulu is our grandpa, Evan as our mom, most of them are my big bro and sis, Han Jie as our youngest brother and adorable Hanne as our little cute and funny sister.

we were selling our omelet's for fund raising. waking up early in the morning just to sell eggs. haha. the weather was awesome! not that hot neither it was cold. lots of things going on, the stove doesn't work, we were running out of gas and heaps of hungry customers lining up for it. it was tiring and exciting at the same time.

StuDying???

maybe that's why i didn't blog few years ago. once i started, i can't stop. should b studying an hour ago but instead im here typing for this blog. haha. will continue tonite or tomorrow then. ;) peace out.

life in aussie

When I first came to perth, i really have no clue of what to expect regardless of my 6 years of boarding school and college experience. I have no networks n no friends at all except Serena which is my long lost ex bff during my primary school year. well, God knows what i need n what i'm afraid of. so as the days passing by, i make new friends each day just by that simple smile or just by my multi nation looks. yeah. u got that rite. some thought i'm from philippines, some thought im from myanmar, some thought i'm a chinese and some thought im a malay.

my new buddies in aussie. funny thing about my migration to aussie is that most of my friends are malaysians not aussies. haha. we were having a good time during the orientation and enjoying ourselves at nite cruise.

Never thought that i look that awesome in this white dress (self proclaim). haha.

This is my very first time joining the cell group. i hate it at first bcoz i dont really know anyone plus im not that very good in approaching people. p/s being an introvert doesnt help at all when it comes to meeting people. at the end of the day, i had a blast. i dont really remember their names at first. i've notice theodore for being super loud n funny in cell. as well as lulu. im scared of sara for no reason but now she's one of those people im close to.

mY first post yay!

awesome. yesterday was checking out Eunice blog n find it inspiring. so today i decided to make my own blog (been thinking of doing it since few years ago but i'm apparently lazy ;) ). so will see how it goes. anyway, i dont really cares if no one reads it just love the feeling of me writing again or typing my own life again since writing a journal is kind of a fuzz to me. will add more stuffs soon.